Monday is my birthday. I don’t normally get wigged out about birthdays, even milestone birthdays, but for some reason I’m a little bewildered by this one. Like, one minute I’m turning 40, celebrating with friends, convincing myself I’m not really that old, and the next minute I’m so old… Last week I shared that 70’s classic, Match Game, with you, so you should all know what to do now. Ready? Set? Go! HOW OLD ARE YOU? I’m so old: I get injured sleeping. I take pictures of small print on packaging so I can blow it up on my phone to read it. My joints and my digestion sound like an entire percussion section. I lost my virginity during the Reagan Administration. Come Monday, I’ll be able to order off the senior menu at Denny’s. And in case my own birthday isn’t enough to make me feel old, guess who turned 60 this week? This guy. Yes, folks, Jon Bon Jovi is 60. W. T. F. If you need me, I’ll be shopping for a pre-need burial plot. OK, OK, I’ll stop whining about my age. Let’s take a field trip! Where are we going? The desert! Because of course we are. And when we get back, we’ll giggle at a hot, fresh batch of memes. But before the wild rumpus begins: welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer! Grab a drink, pull up a seat, and listen to my joints snap, crackle, and pop. Arizona-Sonoran Desert Museum Last weekend, Long-Suffering Husband and I actually got out and did something besides grocery shopping and hurting ourselves at the gym. We went to the Arizona-Sonoran Desert Museum! The museum is a combination zoo, botanical garden, natural history museum, and aquarium that also has some lovely desert trails. 85% of the museum is outdoors, making it a great choice for pandemic times. Desert critters The Sonoran Desert includes the Gulf of California, so the museum includes a stingray touch tank and an aquarium. Our stingray pictures didn’t come out all that great, but here are two moray eels from the aquarium: That photo is just begging for a caption contest. Desert plants If you’ve hung out on my blog at all, you’ll know I can’t go anywhere including my own front yard without taking pictures of plants. Sonoran Desert vista And finally… Museum signs Let’s keep the humor train rolling with… Memes! Since I can’t seem to stop complaining about my age, this week’s meme theme is: getting older. I wrote a whole novel about time travel, but I still think it would be terrible idea. Why? Imagine how much more we humans could screw things up if we could go back in time. Not that it wouldn’t be fun, because, yeah, I have ideas. Age changes a person To be fair, I felt that way when I *was* a teenager, because teenagers in horror movies are STUPID. There’s a homicidal maniac with a hockey mask and a machete roaming the forest. Whatever shall we do? I know! Let’s turn on all the lights in this cabin and have sex. Jason was just cleaning up the gene pool. Yep, just did that this week. *sigh* Ahem. It’s not the Oldies station. It’s the Classic Rock station. There’s a difference. Slowing down I am living proof of that. Here’s an actual picture of me every night after work: I once took (and aced) 2 midterms on 2 hours of sleep. Now: But add > 20 years to that age… *sigh* Totally me if I stay up late. Dear God, what did I do to deserve feeling like this? I’ll never stay up late again. Till the next time I stay up late. And when I do finally drag myself out of bed: Snap, crackle, pop, swear. Every single morning. Injuries for old farts Almost every one of my injuries fall into one of 2 categories: Obtained while doing something stupid Obtained while doing absolutely freakin’ nothing. The recent ones all fall into that second category. Totally true. In the last few weeks, I’ve acquired a new pain in my shoulder. It can join the old pain in my shoulder, the pain in my elbow, the pain in my hips, the arthritis in my feet… *sigh* And finally: Funny… I don’t remember buying a ticket for that show, yet here I am in the damn front row. Let’s end on that painful note. This weekend I leave for Vegas to celebrate my birthday. Four days of driving across the desert, eating too much, walking too much, and staying up too late. Assuming all that fun doesn’t kill me, I’ll see you next week with pictures of a different desert. How about y’all? Got any fun weekend plans? If so–and you’re in my demographic–don’t forget your ibuprofen and Alka-Seltzer.