My Christmas horror story will be published!

November 25, 2022 /

My new Christmas horror story, “The Fine Print,” will be published in the 2022 Deathlehem holiday horror anthology!

Actual footage of me seeing the acceptance hitting my inbox:

I signed the contract this morning and am now basking in the warm glow of external validation. Also basking in the warm glow of a stomach full of pumpkin pie. Mmmmm… Now I need a nap. But before I take one:

Welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer! Grab a slab of pumpkin pie and let’s chat!

First, let’s get one thing straight: pumpkin pie is health food. I mean, it’s made up of milk, eggs, and winter squash. It’s basically a solidified squash smoothie. Here, have another slice. Gotta get your protein and calcium and vitamin A.

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“The Fine Print” will see print!

Now, back to Deathlehem. I’ve talked about this anthology before because I had a story published in last year’s edition. In case you missed that post and don’t want to read it now (you lazy thing), Deathlehem is an annual holiday horror anthology published by Grinning Skull Press with all proceeds going to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. If you like Christmas and horror, I highly recommend it.

“The Fine Print,” the story I submitted for this year’s edition, is one of the darkest stories I’ve ever written, but I think it’s also some of my best work. Long-Suffering Husband read a near-final version and said he didn’t want to put it down. (Yeah, I know, he’s not exactly an unbiased source, but he does give me solid feedback on my work rather than just stoking my ego, so…) Here’s a (very off-the-top-of-my-pumpkin-pie-sedated-head) blurb:

In the year since his daughter died on Christmas morning, Josh Fogarty has barely held himself together. As he weeps at her grave on Christmas Eve, a stranger appears and offers him a sympathetic ear–and a tantalizing deal. But that deal will cost Josh more than he could ever imagine.

Deathlehem usually comes out in late December. Watch this space for my all-caps and exclamation-laden announcement.

Gratuitous garden pictures

I haven’t been anywhere interesting lately, because I’ve been busy getting the house ready for our first houseguest since before the pandemic (woo hoo!). So this week you get a few snapshots of our roses, which are flourishing now that daytime temps are back down to double digits.

Here’s Camille Pissarro:

And Rock & Roll:

I wish Smell-A-Vision existed, because these roses smell incredible.

The Memery

Let’s start this week’s chuckle-fest with:

Some seasonal amusement

And don’t forget the gravy. (And if you’re old enough to get that reference, go schedule your colonoscopy, fellow old fart.)

That’ll be me today, only I’m in well-worn, elastic-waist cargo pants. I know how to dress for an occasion–especially when that occasion involves Olympic-level gluttony.

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And your intrepid blogger will have to figure out how to justify peppermint bark as health food.

If you prefer a 1970s analogy, there’s this:

I think he also just gave a bunch of money to one of Dolly Parton’s charities.

And now I’m picturing Dolly as the Ghost of Christmas Present. I’d pay good money to see that.

That last one is a great segue into our next topic:

The joys of parenthood

My kid is in his 20s and still manages to do that.

Also dogs. My husband has a picture of a greyhound’s eyeball peering under the bathroom door.

Even scarier than when the usual racket stops, leaving only an eerie, WTF-are-they-up-to silence.

Family (dys)functions

Since some of y’all just endured a day with various unlikable relatives, let’s keep the family theme going.

Yes but ancestors are much less irritating.

Because they’re dead.

I’ve chosen writing in lieu of therapy.

Note that I write horror and stories about serial killers.

The previous two memes are in no way related to one another.

Nope. Not at all related.

And on that note, I’m outta here. My friend will be here in less than 6 hours, and I still have to clean the kitchen, clean the bathroom, mop the floors, vacuum the guest bedroom, and spend at least 3 hours finding memes for next week’s blog post.

How about y’all? What sort of wild debauchery do you have planned for the weekend?

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