Define your own success in 6 easy steps (#IWSG)

Today we’re going to talk about success. I’m not going to define it for you, and I’m not going to tell you how to get it. I suck as a self-help guru. Instead, I’m going to suggest a way of thinking about success that doesn’t get much traction in our rise-and-grind culture.

But first: This post is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group monthly blog hop. On the first Wednesday of each month, I and my fellow insecure writers post something related to writing, and then we visit the blogs of our fellow members and read and comment on their IWSG posts. This month’s optional question is, How do you define success as a writer? Is it holding your book in your hand? Having a short story published? Making a certain amount of income from your writing?

The IWSG question is focused on writing, because, well, the W in IWSG doesn’t stand for, “warthog” (though an insecure warthog support group would be… hilarious.)

[Imagine there’s a funny pic of Poomba here. There isn’t a funny pic of Poomba here, because I want to avoid any close encounters with Disney’s lawyers. I bet they make Scar look like Bambi.]

Anyway, back to success. Since this post is part of the IWSG blog hop, I’ll talk about success related to writing, but my big message about success can apply to any area of life, so if you aren’t a writer, you must be sane keep reading.

If I were a self-help guru, I’d string you along for five more paragraphs and then tell you to buy my book to learn my big secret about success. But I am not a self-help guru (or a warthog), so I’m going to get to the point.

What is success?

Are you ready?

Here you go:

Success is whatever you think it is.

Profound, huh?

Wait, you want your money back? Sorry, bucko, this post was free. Didn’t anyone ever tell you, you get what you pay for?

But seriously. You get to determine what success looks like for you. Not your parents, not some famous author, not American rise-and-grind culture, and definitely not some self-help guru. And not me.

You.

Only you.

Why? Because no one has the exact same values as you do. No one has the exact same priorities. No one has the same likes and dislikes. You are unique, and so is your definition of success.

I’m embarrassed to admit how many years decades it took me to figure this out.

How to know if you’re successful in 6 easy steps

1. If you want to know whether or not you’re successful, the first thing to do is to think long and hard about what matters most to you, also known as your values. Write them down. Put ’em where you can see ’em. Revisit them. Tweak them till they feel right.

2. Now, translate those values into a vision for success. If you have what matters most to you (in writing, in life), what does that look like? I mean that literally. Close your eyes and see it in your mind. Hear it, smell it, taste it, feel it, just like you do when you’re writing a scene. Let the movie of your success play in your head. Not someone else’s success. Not the success you read about from some dude in a tacky suit who gives motivational speeches. Not this guy.

Your success.

And think comprehensively. Your success is probably more than your writing. What does a typical day look like when you’ve, “made it?” Not your best day, not the day you’re stepping onto the red carpet because you sold the film rights to your novel for $5 million and the resulting movie is up for Best Picture.

A regular day. Some random Tuesday in April or whatever. What does that day look like? Who’s there with you? How are you balancing all the things you value?

3. Fix that vision in your head, because that’s your target. Document it. Write it. Make a vision board. Whatever works for you, but keep it in your head and keep it handy. That’s what you’re working toward.

4. Are you there yet? If not, do you know how to get there? Map it out. What do you need to do each day/week/month/year to achieve that vision. Those are your goals. The work you do to achieve those goals are your inputs. Those are the things you can measure (like word count).

5. Now get to work. Work that plan. Find the right balance to move you closer to your vision of success without making the present miserable.

6. At some regular interval (I aim for weekly and achieve yearly), revisit that vision and evaluate your progress. Measure the inputs, sure, but also compare where you are to your target. Make adjustments if you need to.

The biggest barrier to success

Too many people (me, I mean me) start with step 6 instead of step 1. We start working. We crank out words. We edit pages. We process email and read stuff and do stuff with no clear target in mind. Or, worse, we aim for someone else’s target. We follow someone else’s program. We buy what other people are buying and decorate like other people are decorating and do the hobbies other people are doing and wear what other people are wearing… and we end up exhausted, broke, and miserable.

You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.

Remember: Success is whatever you think it is.

Whatever you decide it is.

Your life belongs to you. You get to decide what to do with it. You get to decide what matters most to you.

So go forth and decide. Describe. Plan.

Succeed.

And if you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear how you define success and how you’re working toward it. I love hearing what success looks like to others, not to copy them, but to learn, to expand my own thinking, my own vision. That’s why I’m excited to read the other IWSG posts this month.

So tell me. What does success look like for you? Or, to channel my inner Lucifer: