That photo is just begging for a caption contest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Desert plants<\/h3>\n\n\n\n If you’ve hung out on my blog at all, you’ll know I can’t go anywhere including my own front yard without taking pictures of plants. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\nSome kind of pincushion cactus?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nTwisted barrel cactus<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nOld, gnarled palo verde tree<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nSaguaro skeleton demanding the souls of 2 organ pipe cactuses<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nSome kind of nightshade, I think<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nBrittlebush<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\nSonoran Desert vista<\/h3>\n\n\n\nAnd finally…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Museum signs<\/h3>\n\n\n\n\nLet’s keep the humor train rolling with…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Memes!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n Since I can’t seem to stop complaining about my age, this week’s meme theme is: getting older. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wrote a whole novel about time travel, but I still think it would be terrible idea. Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\nImagine how much more we humans could screw things up if we could go back in time. Not that it wouldn’t be fun, because, yeah, I have ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Age changes a person<\/h3>\n\n\n\nTo be fair, I felt that way when I *was* a teenager, because teenagers in horror movies are STUPID. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There’s a homicidal maniac with a hockey mask and a machete roaming the forest. Whatever shall we do? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know! Let’s turn on all the lights in this cabin and have sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jason was just cleaning up the gene pool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\nYep, just did that this week. *sigh*<\/p>\n\n\n\nAhem. It’s not the Oldies station. It’s the Classic Rock station. There’s a difference. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Slowing down<\/h3>\n\n\n\nI am living proof of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\nHere’s an actual picture of me every night after work:<\/p>\n\n\n\nI once took (and aced) 2 midterms on 2 hours of sleep. Now:<\/p>\n\n\n\nBut add > 20 years to that age… *sigh*<\/p>\n\n\n\nTotally me if I stay up late. Dear God, what did I do to deserve feeling like this? I’ll never stay up late again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Till the next time I stay up late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And when I do finally drag myself out of bed: <\/p>\n\n\n\nSnap, crackle, pop, swear. Every single morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\nInjuries for old farts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n Almost every one of my injuries fall into one of 2 categories:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obtained while doing something stupid<\/li> Obtained while doing absolutely freakin’ nothing.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\nThe recent ones all fall into that second category.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\nTotally true. In the last few weeks, I’ve acquired a new pain in my shoulder. It can join the old pain in my shoulder, the pain in my elbow, the pain in my hips, the arthritis in my feet… *sigh*<\/p>\n\n\n\nAnd finally: <\/p>\n\n\n\nFunny… I don’t remember buying a ticket for that show, yet here I am in the damn front row.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let’s end on that painful note. This weekend I leave for Vegas to celebrate my birthday. Four days of driving across the desert, eating too much, walking too much, and staying up too late. Assuming all that fun doesn’t kill me, I’ll see you next week with pictures of a different desert. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How about y’all? Got any fun weekend plans? If so–and you’re in my demographic–don’t forget your ibuprofen and Alka-Seltzer. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Monday is my birthday. I don’t normally get wigged out about birthdays, even milestone birthdays, but for some reason I’m a little bewildered by this one. Like, one minute I’m turning 40, celebrating with friends, convincing myself I’m not really that old, and the next minute I’m so old… Last week I shared that 70’s classic, Match Game, with you, so you should all know what to do now. Ready? Set? Go! HOW OLD ARE YOU? I’m so old: I get injured sleeping. I take pictures of small print on packaging so I can blow it up on my phone to read it. My joints and my digestion sound like an entire percussion section. I lost my virginity during the Reagan Administration. Come Monday, I’ll be able to order off the senior menu at Denny’s. And in case my own birthday isn’t enough to make me feel old, guess who turned 60 this week? This guy. Yes, folks, Jon Bon Jovi is 60. W. T. F. If you need me, I’ll be shopping for a pre-need burial plot. OK, OK, I’ll stop whining about my age. Let’s take a field trip! Where are we going? The desert! Because of course we are. And when we get back, we’ll giggle at a hot, fresh batch of memes. But before the wild rumpus begins: welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer! Grab a drink, pull up a seat, and listen to my joints snap, crackle, and pop.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3543,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[290,15,292],"tags":[36,46,65,128],"class_list":["post-3512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arizona","category-photos","category-weekend-coffee-share","tag-arizona","tag-cactus","tag-desert","tag-tucson"],"yoast_head":"\n
Arizona-Sonoran Desert Museum + how the hell did I get this old? (Weekend Coffee Share #28) - Janet Alcorn<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/2022\/03\/04\/arizona-sonoran-desert-museum-how-the-hell-did-i-get-this-old-weekend-coffee-share-28\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Arizona-Sonoran Desert Museum + how the hell did I get this old? (Weekend Coffee Share #28) - Janet Alcorn\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Monday is my birthday. I don’t normally get wigged out about birthdays, even milestone birthdays, but for some reason I’m a little bewildered by this one. 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