{"id":5284,"date":"2022-07-29T09:02:08","date_gmt":"2022-07-29T16:02:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/?p=5284"},"modified":"2022-07-30T11:16:22","modified_gmt":"2022-07-30T18:16:22","slug":"no-serial-killers-this-week-because-that-would-be-too-exciting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/2022\/07\/29\/no-serial-killers-this-week-because-that-would-be-too-exciting\/","title":{"rendered":"No serial killers this week, because that would be too exciting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This week’s update will be short and serial-killer-free (unlike most of the rest of my July posts<\/a>–apparently it’s serial killer month here at Camp WTF). I could make a bunch of exciting-sounding excuses: I’m flying to Fiji in an hour! I need to prepare for a call with an agent who wants to represent me! I have an appointment with a financial advisor to help me figure out what to do with my lottery winnings!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right. Uh huh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s the sad truth: Exactly two exciting things happened this week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. We bought a new freezer.<\/li>
  2. It rained.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Kids, that’s what you have to look forward to when you hit middle age: getting excited about new appliances and the weather. Sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So this week’s update will be short, because I doubt you want to read an ode to my new Hotpoint. I could probably work up a few pretty lines about the rain, which is much-needed and much-appreciated. Would you believe we haven’t had a day over 100F since Saturday?! Yeah, I know, I totally buried the lede. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Before we get to all the non-excitement: Welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share<\/a>, hosted by Natalie the Explorer<\/a>! Have a seat, grab a treat, and let’s get to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

    Thanks to the rain, the garden is coming back to life a little. I took these pictures a few minutes ago: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
    \"\"
    Salvia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
    \"\"
    New Guinea impatiens dotted with raindrops<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    I’m tempted to plant the whole yard in salvia and New Guinea impatiens<\/a>. They bloom all summer, no matter how hot it gets, and the salvia even wintered over from last year. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    OK, so I guess I can add a third item to my weekly excitement list: plants are flowering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Since there’s not much else to say about this week, let’s wrap up the babble and get to: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The Memes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    It’s a small, theme-less batch this week, because I need to get to work. Despite all those clickbait headlines telling me I can make $8000 a month with my blog, that hasn’t actually happened, so I still have a day job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Speaking of my day job, this is me attempting to fix formatting in a Word doc: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Here’s one for the musicians in the crowd: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    “How to blame bass players for your sub-par playing” had me ROTFLMAO. Especially since Long-Suffering Husband is a bass player.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Our ghosts are a bunch of slackers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Speaking of slacking: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    I am now feeling better about my weekend plans–lounging, reading, and meme-hunting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Speaking of reading, let’s venture into the futuristic worlds of old science fiction: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Those old sci-fi writers must be so disappointed in us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I saw that one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And finally: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    How about y’all? Anything new and exciting in your lives? How’s the weather? Bought any good appliances lately? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    This week’s update will be short and serial-killer-free (unlike most of the rest of my July posts–apparently it’s serial killer month here at Camp WTF). I could make a bunch of exciting-sounding excuses: I’m flying to Fiji in an hour! I need to prepare for a call with an agent who wants to represent me! I have an appointment with a financial advisor to help me figure out what to do with my lottery winnings! Right. Uh huh. Here’s the sad truth: Exactly two exciting things happened this week. We bought a new freezer. It rained. Kids, that’s what you have to look forward to when you hit middle age: getting excited about new appliances and the weather. Sorry. So this week’s update will be short, because I doubt you want to read an ode to my new Hotpoint. I could probably work up a few pretty lines about the rain, which is much-needed and much-appreciated. Would you believe we haven’t had a day over 100F since Saturday?! Yeah, I know, I totally buried the lede. Before we get to all the non-excitement: Welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer! Have a seat, grab a treat, and let’s get to it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[292],"tags":[73,321],"class_list":["post-5284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-weekend-coffee-share","tag-flowers","tag-memes"],"yoast_head":"\nNo serial killers this week, because that would be too exciting - Janet Alcorn<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In which I share the exciting happenings at Camp WTF this week: we got a new freezer, and it rained. 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