{"id":5284,"date":"2022-07-29T09:02:08","date_gmt":"2022-07-29T16:02:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/?p=5284"},"modified":"2022-07-30T11:16:22","modified_gmt":"2022-07-30T18:16:22","slug":"no-serial-killers-this-week-because-that-would-be-too-exciting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/2022\/07\/29\/no-serial-killers-this-week-because-that-would-be-too-exciting\/","title":{"rendered":"No serial killers this week, because that would be too exciting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>This week&#8217;s update will be short and serial-killer-free (unlike most of <a href=\"https:\/\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/2022\/07\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the rest of my July posts<\/a>&#8211;apparently it&#8217;s serial killer month here at Camp WTF). I could make a bunch of exciting-sounding excuses: I&#8217;m flying to Fiji in an hour! I need to prepare for a call with an agent who wants to represent me! I have an appointment with a financial advisor to help me figure out what to do with my lottery winnings!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Right. Uh huh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s the sad truth: Exactly two exciting things happened this week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>We bought a new freezer.<\/li><li>It rained.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids, that&#8217;s what you have to look forward to when you hit middle age: getting excited about new appliances and the weather. Sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So this week&#8217;s update will be short, because I doubt you want to read an ode to my new Hotpoint. I could probably work up a few pretty lines about the rain, which is much-needed and much-appreciated. Would you believe we haven&#8217;t had a day over 100F since Saturday?! Yeah, I know, I totally buried the lede. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before we get to all the non-excitement: Welcome to the<a href=\"https:\/\/fresh.inlinkz.com\/party\/b4c1e1e3eefa45e69239dd3ef522fe81\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> Weekend Coffee Share<\/a>, hosted by <a href=\"https:\/\/natalietheexplorer.home.blog\/2022\/07\/29\/loving-life-in-july-2022\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Natalie the Explorer<\/a>! Have a seat, grab a treat, and let&#8217;s get to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>Thanks to the rain, the garden is coming back to life a little. I took these pictures a few minutes ago: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" data-id=\"5286\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.40-resized.jpg?resize=768%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5286\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.40-resized.jpg?resize=768%2C1025&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.40-resized.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.40-resized.jpg?w=907&amp;ssl=1 907w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><figcaption>Salvia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" data-id=\"5287\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.15-resized.jpg?resize=768%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5287\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.15-resized.jpg?resize=768%2C1025&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.15-resized.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-29-08.07.15-resized.jpg?w=907&amp;ssl=1 907w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><figcaption>New Guinea impatiens dotted with raindrops<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m tempted to plant the whole yard in salvia and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bhg.com\/gardening\/plant-dictionary\/annual\/new-guinea-impatiens\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">New Guinea impatiens<\/a>. They bloom all summer, no matter how hot it gets, and the salvia even wintered over from last year. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>OK, so I guess I can add a third item to my weekly excitement list: plants are flowering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since there&#8217;s not much else to say about this week, let&#8217;s wrap up the babble and get to: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Memes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s a small, theme-less batch this week, because I need to get to work. Despite all those clickbait headlines telling me I can make $8000 a month with my blog, that hasn&#8217;t actually happened, so I still have a day job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Speaking of my day job, this is me attempting to fix formatting in a Word doc: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"526\" height=\"837\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-21.07.31.jpg?resize=526%2C837&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5288\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-21.07.31.jpg?w=526&amp;ssl=1 526w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-21.07.31.jpg?resize=189%2C300&amp;ssl=1 189w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 526px) 100vw, 526px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s one for the musicians in the crowd: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"777\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/1658424785160.jpeg?resize=777%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5289\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/1658424785160.jpeg?resize=777%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 777w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/1658424785160.jpeg?resize=228%2C300&amp;ssl=1 228w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/1658424785160.jpeg?resize=768%2C1012&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/1658424785160.jpeg?w=800&amp;ssl=1 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 777px) 100vw, 777px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;How to blame bass players for your sub-par playing&#8221; had me ROTFLMAO. Especially since Long-Suffering Husband is a bass player.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.30.jpg?resize=582%2C395&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5290\" width=\"582\" height=\"395\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.30.jpg?resize=1024%2C696&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.30.jpg?resize=300%2C204&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.30.jpg?resize=768%2C522&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.30.jpg?w=1284&amp;ssl=1 1284w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 582px) 100vw, 582px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Our ghosts are a bunch of slackers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Speaking of slacking: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-26-22.20.17.jpg?resize=591%2C606&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5291\" width=\"591\" height=\"606\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-26-22.20.17.jpg?w=627&amp;ssl=1 627w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-26-22.20.17.jpg?resize=293%2C300&amp;ssl=1 293w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 591px) 100vw, 591px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I am now feeling better about my weekend plans&#8211;lounging, reading, and meme-hunting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Speaking of reading, let&#8217;s venture into the futuristic worlds of old science fiction: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-12.27.47.jpg?resize=673%2C477&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5292\" width=\"673\" height=\"477\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-12.27.47.jpg?w=828&amp;ssl=1 828w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-12.27.47.jpg?resize=300%2C213&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-12.27.47.jpg?resize=768%2C544&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 673px) 100vw, 673px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Those old sci-fi writers must be so disappointed in us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.04.jpg?resize=515%2C489&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5293\" width=\"515\" height=\"489\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.04.jpg?w=843&amp;ssl=1 843w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.04.jpg?resize=300%2C285&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.31.04.jpg?resize=768%2C730&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 515px) 100vw, 515px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m so glad I wasn&#8217;t drinking anything when I saw that one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And finally: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.23.11-1.jpg?resize=510%2C510&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5295\" width=\"510\" height=\"510\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.23.11-1.jpg?resize=1024%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.23.11-1.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.23.11-1.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.23.11-1.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.23.11-1.jpg?resize=1536%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/janetalcorn.com\/staging\/1364\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/2022-07-27-20.23.11-1.jpg?w=1920&amp;ssl=1 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 510px) 100vw, 510px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>How about y&#8217;all? Anything new and exciting in your lives? How&#8217;s the weather? Bought any good appliances lately? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week&#8217;s update will be short and serial-killer-free (unlike most of the rest of my July posts&#8211;apparently it&#8217;s serial killer month here at Camp WTF). I could make a bunch of exciting-sounding excuses: I&#8217;m flying to Fiji in an hour! I need to prepare for a call with an agent who wants to represent me! I have an appointment with a financial advisor to help me figure out what to do with my lottery winnings! Right. Uh huh. Here&#8217;s the sad truth: Exactly two exciting things happened this week. We bought a new freezer. It rained. Kids, that&#8217;s what you have to look forward to when you hit middle age: getting excited about new appliances and the weather. Sorry. So this week&#8217;s update will be short, because I doubt you want to read an ode to my new Hotpoint. I could probably work up a few pretty lines about the rain, which is much-needed and much-appreciated. Would you believe we haven&#8217;t had a day over 100F since Saturday?! Yeah, I know, I totally buried the lede. Before we get to all the non-excitement: Welcome to the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer! Have a seat, grab a treat, and let&#8217;s get to it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"yes","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[292],"tags":[73,321],"class_list":["post-5284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-weekend-coffee-share","tag-flowers","tag-memes"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>No serial killers this week, because that would be too exciting - Janet Alcorn<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In which I share the exciting happenings at Camp WTF this week: we got a new freezer, and it rained. 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