The importance of being influenced (#IWSG)

The word, influencer, makes most of us think of self-absorbed wannabe celebrities sharing their carefully-curated lives on Instagram or Tik Tok. (Nice work if you can get it, I suppose.) But we all have influencers. From the time we’re born, the people in our lives shape us in all kinds of ways. One of the things I find both fascinating and terrifying is how a stray remark, a quick interaction, can have a profound effect on another human being. None of us fully understands the power we have over others just by going about our daily business.

I’ve written on here a few times about how I got a late start as a fiction writer, including in last month’s IWSG post, so I’m not going to go there again. Instead, I want to talk about some of my influencers, the folks who led me to finally start living this lifelong dream.

But first: This post is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group monthly blog hop, co-hosted this month by Joylene Nowell Butler, Jacqui Murray, Sandra Cox, and Lee Lowery. This month’s optional question is, Is there someone who supported or influenced you that perhaps isn’t around anymore? Anyone you miss?

The biggest influence on me who isn’t around anymore is my mother. I should say more about her–she deserves so many words of thanks and appreciation–but I’m not in the mood to mope and mourn, so I’m going to move on and talk about the people who are still around.

In most cases, encouragement came in a simple comment, maybe even a throwaway line, but at some point all these little pieces came together and motivated me to Google, how to write a novel and actually follow through. Here we go:

My writing influencers

• A library school intern who worked with me years ago (Hi, Karin!). We’d talked about books and writing off and on as we worked together. At the end of her internship, she gave me a copy of Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird with a lovely inscription inside. Lamott’s wise, witty words took root in my mind, as did Karin’s so, so kind ones. Maybe, just maybe, this dream was possible.
• My favorite English teacher (*waves at Mr. Lupton*) who encouraged me when I was a sophomore in high school with interesting writing assignments and praise for my work. Later, after we reconnected on Facebook, he left a comment on one of my posts suggesting a memoir could be a possibility. The man who taught me to write, helped me find my voice, thought I might be able to write a memoir? Huh. Those words took root in my brain, too.
• Diana Gabaldon’s account in The Outlandish Companion about how she came to write Outlander. She decided to learn to write a novel by actually writing one. Was that even possible? Well, she did it, so…
• My many wonderful friends who said kind things about stuff I wrote over the years (mostly blog and Facebook posts or even funny bits in high school) and, when I told them I was learning to write fiction, cheered me on–and still do. “When can I read your story?” “I’m so proud of you.” Those words mean more to me than I can ever say.
• My first fiction writing teacher (Hi, Cherrie!) who gave me kind, helpful feedback, helped me grow as a writer, and encouraged me to share my work and try to get published. My stories would have never left my hard drive if it weren’t for her.
• And, last but so definitely not least, my husband, who has encouraged me from the start and been my biggest cheerleader. “What are you working on?” “Can I help you brainstorm ideas?” “I’m so proud of you.” Yeah, I’m a lucky woman.

I’m going to guess that most of these folks have no idea they influenced my writing life. (Or they didn’t till reading this post. Surprise!) That goes back to what I said at the beginning of this ramble: sometimes we can change another person’s life and never realize it. A casual remark, a comment on Facebook, a kind note… you never know what will set a person on a new path. Or:

Everybody we meet has an influence on us and an impact – good or bad. And I think that’s why we have to be careful with the way we handle people because what we’re doing is making an impact.

Ernie Harwell

How about y’all? Who has influenced your path in life? Do they know? Maybe you should tell them.