Finding balance as an author
In this month’s post for the IWSG, let’s talk about finding balance as an author. How do we choose how best to spend our limited time and energy when there are approximately 40 gazillion author-related tasks clamoring for our attention?
But first: In case you’re new here, the first Wednesday of every month is Insecure Writers Support Group day, on which we insecure writers share our doubts, fears, struggles, and triumphs. Our awesome co-hosts this month are Kate Larkindale, Diane Burton, Shannon Lawrence–and me! This will be my third time co-hosting the monthly IWSG blog hop, and it’s always a blast. Come on in and join the party!
We IWSG-ers are also given an optional question we can answer in our posts. This month’s optional question: Have you ever written something that afterwards you felt conflicted about? If so, did you let it stay how it was, take it out, or rewrite it?
Funnily enough, we had a similar monthly question the first time I co-hosted the IWSG, and it stimulated some great conversation in the comments. If you’re interested, head over to that post and have a look. I don’t think I have anything new to say on the topic, so I’m going to take this post in a different direction.
Let’s talk about finding balance in the writing life.
Stuff Authors Need to Do
Here’s a list of all the things authors need to do (in no particular order):
- Get feedback – participate in critique groups (which means critiquing others, a time-consuming activity), hire editors
- Keep learning and improving our craft – attend (and pay for) workshops, webinars, and classes
- Promote our work – this burden falls a little heavier on self-published authors, but traditionally-published folks have to do it too. We have to learn the ins and outs of Amazon ads, SEO, and social media marketing. We have to do signings and blog tours and book festivals and guest posts.
- Build a platform – write a newsletter and build a subscriber list, engage in social media, maintain a blog
- Create and maintain a website
- Network with other writers – participate in social media, join professional associations, attend (expensive) conferences, participate in online communities (hello, IWSG!)
- Keep up with trends in the publishing and/or self-publishing industry
- Read in our genre(s) so we know what readers are buying
- Get published or self-publish – learn to write a query letter and synopsis, actually write the query letter and synopsis, learn how self-publishing platforms work, hire editors and cover designers and book designers, learn to write blurbs, actually write blurbs.
- Work a day job – to pay for the workshops and conferences and editors and designers, as well as, you know, food and shelter and other non-writing-related necessities. It’s hard to be a productive writer when you’re living in a VAN! DOWN BY THE RIVER!
Damn, I miss Chris Farley.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah: stuff writers have to do. It’s a lot, y’all. And I think I may have forgotten something. Let’s see… what could it–
Oh, yeah:
WRITE.
We actually have to effing WRITE.
On top of all that other crap I typed out.
So where am I going with this depressing reality? In the rest of this post, I want to talk about how we find balance as authors. I hope you’ll share how you do it in the comments, because I sure don’t have all the answers.
My struggle to find balance as an author
I shared in my June IWSG post that I’ve been struggling to sustain motivation and be productive as a writer this year. Part of that struggle has been to find a balance I can live with, especially as my day job–I’m an academic library administrator–has become more demanding. I need to write, yes, but I also need family time. I need time for life maintenance–cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, budgeting, paying bills. Also body maintenance–exercise, sleep, medical appointments.
And I need rest. More rest than I used to need. Why? Because:
My muse (the drunken floozie – meet her here, here, and here) takes a tequila-soaked vacation when I don’t take care of myself, and I don’t blame her. My mind isn’t a pleasant place to be when I don’t take care of myself.
So, what to do?
Play the lottery till I win the Powerball, then retire and write full-time from my villa in Tuscany.
Wait, I already tried that. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
Learn to say yes and no–strategically
What does work? Honestly, I’m still struggling to figure that out. Right now I’m trying the approach I’ve used with my day job for decades: learning when to say yes and when to say no. Or, to fancy it up: making decisions strategically so I spend my limited time and effort on activities that either:
- Move my goals forward
- Are personally rewarding/fun
Determining which activities fall into these categories requires a few prerequisites:
- Having goals and prioritizing them. Do I want to write short stories, which I can complete relatively quickly and publish relatively easily? Or do I want to revise my messy novel manuscript and try to get it published? Or would it be better to make one more quick pass on my basically completed manuscript, which I love but which doesn’t fit the market well, and self-publish it? Which of these will help me develop the kind of writing career I want?
- Recognizing which activities are most likely to move those goals forward. Do I join a critique group to keep me on track and get feedback, even though I’ll have to spend several hours a month critiquing other people’s work? Or do I use that time on my own writing and go without the feedback (at least for now)? Do I take time away from my fiction to write a blog post or an issue of my newsletter to build my platform? Do I take a writing class to improve my craft? I want to note here that sometimes it’s hard to know which activities will bring you closest to your goals. So much of this business is luck, and I believe we make our own luck but putting ourselves out there, by taking chances, by getting out of our comfort zones.
- Knowing what’s personally rewarding, i.e., what you value most. For me, this is where association work and networking with other authors comes in. I’m a judge for a literary contest. I’m trying to participate in a few online communities (like the IWSG) because it’s helpful and fun to interact with others who share my struggles. I went to my first writers conference this year and had a blast.
The painful lesson I’ve had to learn is that I no longer have sufficient time and energy to do all the things I want to do–at work, in writing, or in my personal life. So I’m revisiting my goals and priorities, trying to accept my limitations and determine what really matters most to me. When I know that, I can say yes to the right things and no to the wrong (wrong for me, anyway) things.
The memery
Another lesson I’ve learned–this one a long time ago–is that laughter heals. Laughter gives me strength to pick myself up and keep going. So let’s close out this post with a few laughs:
I can practically hear the ominous background music.
While we’re on the subject of ominous:
Yep.
In my case, whatever those things are would be fully grown and ready for harvest.
Looks like I left a couple of things off that big ol’ list I typed out.
And finally:
Aaaannnnnddddd… that’s a wrap.
Writers, how do you find a balance among all the things you need to do? Like I said earlier in this post, I don’t have all the answers, so I’d love to hear your advice.
68 Comments
Barbara A Mealer
Well, I learned that a spotless house isn’t going to happen. I make sure that I put writing over TV. I make sure to spend time with Al at least an hour a day when working and have those talks we like before going to sleep. On days that I’m off, I spend more time with him but have to schedule things like fixing meals or I forget to eat, visiting my horses before they forget who I amd, and taking time to watch the beasutiful sunsets. I really don’t think there is a great answer. I do make it a habit to spend at least 3 hrs a day on my writing when off. That allows me time to do a wash, clean the house, take out the trash, and just commune with nature.
Janet Alcorn
Sounds like you’ve found some balance and appreciate what life has to offer. Well done!
Liza
I’m not published, so haven’t really dealt with the marketing issues, but I do get up an hour early every day to write or deal with writing related tasks. It’s not enough time, but it’s consistent time and that helps..
Janet Alcorn
This is what I do, and it works most of the time (unless I have a sleepless night or a looming work deadline). You’re right about the value of consistency.
Sonia Dogra
This post gives some very important points to ponder about. Particularly the point about prioritising. Yes, we possibly cannot do everything so we must figure out what works best for us.
alexjcavanaugh
Smart advice. The older we get, the less we can do everything.
Thanks for co-hosting today!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks for inviting me to co-host!
Esther O'Neill
Hi Janet,
Belated thanks for hosting. Afternoon already and it’ s still raining. More of the same ahead, for weeks, perfect for writing, even if friends come to stay.*
After various promising skirmishes with two of the Five, the BBC and RTE, I decided life’s too short, indie would be right for me, starting, of course, with the (revised) books that almost made it.
Love the piratical riposte. Ideally, of course, would love to be banned.
Esther . .
* Live close to where people might go on holiday by mistake.
Janet Alcorn
Good luck with self-publishing! It seems like there’s so much luck and timing involved in getting traditionally published.
patgarcia
Hi,
A lot of nice points here. Thanks!
Thank you for co-hosting.
Shalom shalom
Janet Alcorn
Thanks, Pat!
Nancy Gideon
LOL! So true! So true! We think of ourselves as self-sacrificing loners but we’re really all part of the same insecure union of tale-telling folk who overcome our doubts because we can’t NOT write.
Janet Alcorn
We can’t not-write–yes! It took me literal decades to understand that about myself and channel it into writing for publication.
Jen
That last meme got me in the giggles. Love me some Captain Jack!
You are SO WRITE! There are so many things to do and most of the time I just put my head in the sand and go outside and play with my concrete. I’m editing a trilogy right now and I keep pushing the voices that scream, “But you need a PLATFORM!” out of my head. I have a website. I’m on Instagram. I don’t have time for anything else. I don’t know how people do it with all the social accounts, etc. It tires me out just thinking about it.
Balance is key and I’m currently taking some time to reshape my schedule and prioritize. This is a great post and filled with loads of good stuff (and quite a few laughs!) Thanks for co-hosting this month 🙂
Janet Alcorn
The advice I’ve heard is to have a presence on multiple platforms but to focus on one as the primary place you interact. I struggle with that, but it does sound like good advice.
I hope you’re able to find the balance you need.
emaginette
I’ve been thinking of actually writing myself. Oh, I’m a great critter, supporter of my fellow writers. Encouraging, etc. They’re writing and I’m cheering them on. Maybe something should change or shifted into balance. hehehe
Anna from elements of emaginette
Janet Alcorn
Wait, we writers are supposed to actually write?
Crap.
Cheryl L McKenzie
I’m up to my eyeballs in marketing issues that keep me from doing the writing I want to do. It’s the technical side of things that keep me bogged down, so I really understand your point about finding balance. Thanks for co-hosting today.
Janet Alcorn
Sometimes I think we writers need to form a co-op. The people who are good at marketing handle it for everyone, the people who are good at tech handle it for everyone, the people who are good at editing… etc. We’re all good at some things and not others.
I hope you’re able to get the tech stuff sorted out.
joylenebutler
I love your posts, Janet. Always will. I think your mind is brilliant. Wish I could say I’m following your advice. My life as a writer is blogged down with having a sick macbook. It’s scary how reliant I am upon it. Thanks for co-hosting today. Hope your day is fabulous!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks so, so much for your kind words! I’m sorry you’re dealing with a sick computer. I hope you can get it fixed and get back to writing soon.
I hope your day is fabulous too!
Loni Townsend
Balance is tough, especially when family is involved. Your own life is usually easy to manage, but throwing in other people always upsets the balance. I had to switch around my schedule this past week just to make sure I get all of my writing time, and still work in exercise and family time. It’s exhausting.
Janet Alcorn
You’re exactly right. I hope your new schedule works well!
Cathrina Constantine
Time is always against me and learning to balance family life and writing is tough. Good Post. Thank you for Co-hosting!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks for stopping by!
Jemima Pett
For technical curved balls, see my post today!! But it’s all part of getting what I’ve written out to the public, in this case, who asked for it! I just hope they buy it (only in paperback, which is also a first for me).
I really related to your ‘Getting older’ meme. It started with eczema, then the arthritis kicked in… and in… and in… I just wonder what’s next nowadays.
And… thanks for cohosting today 🙂
Janet Alcorn
I just read your post, and yikes, I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. Good luck getting your book done!
Jacqui Murray
Darn! I spent the entire time I allocated to reading your post watching the clip, and then another, and another…. Hooboy, I miss the old SNL.
Janet Alcorn
LOL, sorry to send you down a rabbit hole 🙂 I miss the old SNL too.
Lynn La Vita
I share many of your concerns and desires. My favorite picture was the weeds growing out of the keyboard. I realize life is about our experiences rather than achieving the goal. These replies may offer a glimmer of hope and options. Thanks for co-hosting his month.
Cheers, @ Lynn La Vita</a
Janet Alcorn
Life really is about our experiences, about how we spend our average days more than our spectacular days.
Samantha Bryant
That struggle for balance is eternal, and just when you feel like you’ve found it, one of the parameters of your life changes and you have to figure it out all over again. But it’s worth it! @samanthabwriter from
Balancing Act
Janet Alcorn
Excellent point! Life has seasons, and what works in one season may not work so well in another. I feel like I’m transitioning between seasons right now, and that may be why I’m struggling so much. I had a plan, I had a good groove going, and then it… stopped working.
SE
Thanks so much for co-hosting today! It is funny that two of the questions you co-hosted have been so similar. The memes were on point, as always 🙂
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! And yeah, it’s a weird coincidence, but I’ve enjoyed the conversations around both posts.
Victoria Marie Lees
Thanks for co-hosting, Janet! That’s the ticket: to get someone to hear about us. Right? I so worry about marketing. And building that blasted [non-existent at this time] platform. I’ve got the “Keep learning and improving our craft” thing down. Thanks for an informative post. Funny video!
Janet Alcorn
Yeah, it’s really hard to build a platform when you don’t have a book out. I’m working on it but with pretty limited success.
Glad you’re able to keep learning/improving! I need to get back into that groove. Right now most of my professional development efforts have been focused on my day job.
diedre
Terrific list, Janet. I like your Co-op idea 😉 Thanks for sharing and for co-hosting.
“But you have heard of me,” Love it!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks for stopping by!
Arlee Bird
Balance is a big problem in my life–and not as an author, but just as me. I need to get more serious about writing or stop thinking about it. But life happens.
Thanks for co-hosting.
Lee
Janet Alcorn
Interesting you phrased your dilemma this way – get serious or stop thinking about it. I’ve had that talk with myself, and I’ve decided it’s a false dichotomy. I’m trying to give myself permission to do as much writing as feels possible right now, to make slow progress. It’s more fun when I’m not pushing myself so hard.
Elizabeth Seckman
Exactly what you said. 100%
Janet Alcorn
Thanks!
Diane Burton
One of the hardest things (for me) is saying no to things that take time away from writing. Sometimes, I’m even successful. Thanks for cohosting this month.
Janet Alcorn
I struggle with that too. I mean, they’re writing-related, so they’re almost like writing… right? 🙂
Olga Godim
Grass growing out of the keyboard. Yeah, that applies to me too.
Janet Alcorn
LOL. Time to mow the keyboard and start writing 🙂
3mpodcast
My big thing lately has been trying to delineate time. Example: day job is done by 6 PM. While it’s not perfect, it does help. (Shannon @thewarriormuse dot com)
Janet Alcorn
Yes! I do better when I have clear boundaries between the day job and the rest of my life. It’s hard, though, because I’m an academic, so I have writing to do for the day job also, and my meeting schedule means I often don’t have time to write “on the clock,” so to speak.
Kristina Kelly
I’m like you, picking the things that bring me joy and excitement. I’ve realized I’ll never have the time to finish all of my ideas so I’m prioritizing the ones I love the most.
Janet Alcorn
That sounds like a smart strategy!
Natalie Aguirre
Thanks for co-hosting. I’ve always had to balance writing with working. It’s hard to find the right balance to give yourself time for your family and your own down time. I think your approach will help you get the right balance that you’re looking for. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t write as much anymore.
Janet Alcorn
Thanks. I’m really working on the not beating myself up. It’s so counterproductive.
Jennifer Lane
You can add co-hosting IWSG to your stellar list of writerly duties–thank you! This post is gold! That Chris Farley skit makes me cry from laughing every time. My favorite part is watching David Spade try not to laugh. And I also miss Phil Hartman–what a talent. I think weeds are growing between my laptop keys, as my day job (like yours) has been more all-consuming lately, but I am determined to get back to writing one day. I do like the balance of swapping chapters with my awesome critique partner instead of a critique group (though I haven’t tried that before).
Janet Alcorn
I think I miss Phil Hartman almost as much as Chris Farley. Such an amazing talent.
I really want to find the right critique partner. I’ve tried with a few folks but haven’t found the right match yet with similar levels of skill, commitment, and pace. Oh, and at least some genre compatibility. Someone needs to put on a speed-dating event for finding crit partners!
Yvonne V
Janet — Thanks for cohosting the blog hop!
You raise some interesting points. My favorite way to proscastinate is to read about productivity, because then it feels like I’m getting something done. 🙂 The tricky part about all our activities, as you noted, is not always knowing what will be most helpful. I don’t have any easy solutions, but my current read is Happier Hour and she offers an interesting perspective on happiness and balance.
Thanks for your thoughtful blog post!
Janet Alcorn
“My favorite way to procrastinate is to read about productivity, because then it feels like I’m getting something done.” – are you my alter ego? This is also my favorite way to procrastinate! Closely followed by devising new productivity schemes that are somehow going to magically make me get things done – file systems, email management systems, bullet journals, word count trackers… yeah. Reading books about productivity does help me be more productive… for about a week. Then I backslide.
I’ll check out Happier Hour. I need a new perspective on happiness and balance.
melissamaygrove
Finding a balance between writing and working a full-time job is torture. I did better when I worked part-time hours. Thanks for co-hosting!
Janet Alcorn
Part-time is my dream, but that dream will have to wait for retirement.
Thanks for stopping by!
Kim Elliott
Yes, there are so many writing-related tasks! I have to prioritize and learn to let some go.
Janet Alcorn
Indeed. I find I shift emphasis periodically. For awhile I spent a lot of time revamping this blog and creating a newsletter. Before that I spent a lot of time taking classes. Now I’m just trying to squeeze in some writing around the day job and being tired from the day job.
Beth Camp
Oh, dear. I remember that battle over life/work/writing balance. I didn’t really start writing until I retired, but since then, and since I have waaaay more time to write, I feel that finally I’m doing what I’ve always dreamed of. Your post captures all the challenge and those choices that will keep recurring. Your path is clear. You truly are a writer. Persevere with that self care and the writing somehow in between all else. You will find your way!
Janet Alcorn
Thank you so much for this, really. I hope to focus on writing when I retire, but I also want to be careful about not deferring my dream completely till retirement. Your comment is reassuring, though, that I’m not deluding myself when I think I’ll be able to make more progress in retirement.
Toi Thomas
Thanks for co-hosting this month. Great post; very relatable! I’m at a point where I’m not trying to connect with readers at large, anymore. I’m writing for myself and sharing it in case someone finds it interesting. Its not a path to success but it is a path to peace of mind, for me.
Janet Alcorn
If this approach brings you peace of mind, that sounds like a success to me.
Nortina S.
It’s definitely difficult to find enough time in the day to get work-related stuff done, life/health-related stuff done, writer stuff done, plus make room for leisure activities and rest, especially when the day job can often be so draining! Although I must admit I do let social media and TV distract me…A LOT! (Love the memes by the way.) This month I’m working on finding a balance because I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired and still not finishing anything! 😀
Janet Alcorn
I definitely let social media distract me too much. Part of the reason is that I’m exhausted at the end of a workday, so I don’t feel like doing anything that requires effort. And part of the reason is that I’m distractible and have poor self-control 🙂
Nortina S.
Same for me! We are kindred spirits! 😄