The August wrap-up: Steel Panther and gastroenterology fun
August is over! That sound you hear is 7 million Arizonans sighing in relief. We’re still sweating, but Weather Bragging Season is in sight. And we’re below 100F and supposed to stay that way till Wednesday. Woo hoo! I can garden without melting.
Also, it’s time for a quick look back at August here at Camp WTF.
But first: This post is part of the Weekend Coffee Share hosted by Natalie the Explorer and What’s Been on Your Calendar hosted by Sue, Donna, Jo and Deb. Have a seat, grab a box of Extra Toasty Cheez-Its, and let’s get this party started.
My poem is a finalist!
First up: writing news. My poem, “Mourning Doves,” is a finalist in the Arizona Authors Association annual literary contest! Winners will be announced in early November.
Steel Panther comes to Tucson
One of Long-Suffering Husband’s favorite bands, Steel Panther, came to Tucson, so off we went to rock out at the Rialto. They parody 80s hair metal, and they’re pretty talented. They also have the most godawful lyrics ever written, because, you know, parody. A few pics from the show:
And the obligatory concert selfie:
Other stuff that happened in August
My other big event in August (if you can call a 1-night trip to a place 2 hours away a “big event”) was a trip to Willcox and the Chiricahuas, which I’ve already covered in previous posts here (Willcox) and here (Chiricahuas).
Additional August excitement:
- I co-hosted the IWSG (Insecure Writers Support Group) monthly blog hop. See the post here.
- Our son got a new job and started classes. Yay!
- I attended the monthly meeting of the Arizona Mystery Writers, where author D. R. Ransdell ran us through some writing exercises that helped me get started on a possible new short story.
- I attended the monthly meeting of the Tucson Chapter of Sisters in Crime, where author, podcaster, and PR consultant J. Alexander Greenwood talked to us about using blogging, podcasting, and advertising for author and book promotion.
- And finally, to end the month on a high note, I had an endoscopy on Monday. I had a colonoscopy last month, so apparently it’s Hot Gastro Summer here at Camp WTF. Damn, I know how to party. The good news about being knocked out and having cameras shoved in various orifices (besides the fact that 1) I was knocked out and therefore felt nothing, 2) all went well, and 3) minor problems were found and fixed)? Blog fodder!
Rockin’ at the gastroenterology surgery center
Hold onto your butts, it’s story time! Heh, heh, I said “butts” while writing about colonoscopies.
What? You expected mature, sophisticated humor? From me? You must have mistaken me for an adult.
Anyway.
Me, in my 50s: This gastroenterology surgery center is playing my jams.
Seriously. I’ve had gastro procedures in 2 different cities in the last 4 years, and both played an excellent mix of 70s and 80s tunes in the waiting area and, in the most recent instance, in the procedure room (remember that fact; it will be important shortly). Apparently GI docs know their target demographic: Old Farts.
Heh, heh, I said, “farts,” while talking about gastroenterology.
Apparently I’m still channeling Beavis and Butthead. Anyway. Back to the Old Fart Playlist at the GI surgery center.
Let’s start this story with a flashback: It was 2019, and I was in the waiting room for my first colonoscopy, nervous as hell and trying to focus on the music to calm down. What starts playing?
“Hurts So Good.”
I’m sure the other patients wondered why I was giggling in a GI surgery center waiting room at 7:30 AM after a day of starvation and a night of colonoscopy prep. But it was too perfect, right?
Fast forward to last month. I make it through colonoscopy #2 (Heh, heh, I said #2 while talking about colonoscopies.) with no musical mishaps, just some pretty good tunes and my husband and I making a bunch of Old Fart jokes in the waiting room like the mature adults we aren’t.
Which brings us to this week. I’m back in the same surgery center for my endoscopy. More 70s and 80s jams in the waiting room. I’m kinda getting into it, resisting the urge to sing along, you know, as one does while waiting for someone to stick an endoscope in one’s stomach. They call me back, give me the most pain-free IV I’ve ever had (yay!), and after a little while, roll me into the procedure room.
Remember how I said the music plays in there too? Yeah, hold that thought.
The medical team gets set up. I try not to panic, because procedure rooms are a little like operating rooms, cold and brightly lit and filled with equipment that would give Viktor Frankenstein the heebie jeebies. To stave off the panic, I focus on the music. So far, so good (and no “Hurts So Good.”)
Doc shows up, anesthesiologist draws up the Propofol, I assume the position. It’s GO TIME.
What starts playing on the sound system?
“Stairway to Heaven.”
Yes, really. (I resisted the urge to say “I shit you not.” Apparently I have some standards in my potty humor.) An anesthesiologist is about to put me under, and the last thing I hear is “Stairway to Heaven.”
At least it wasn’t “Highway to Hell.”
The memery
I’m happy to report that I did not, in fact, ascend the stairway to heaven but am alive and well and here to serve up a hot, fresh batch of ridiculousness.
For my fellow old farts:
IYKYK.
You also never hear a murder victim described as sarcastic and foul-mouthed. I’m liking my survival odds.
Arizona is only 2 CVS receipts from the sun, max.
And as long as we’re talking about proximity to the sun:
And finally:
Cargo shorts and glasses? Sounds like that octopus is due for a colonoscopy. Hope he likes classic rock.
And on that musical note, I’m outta here. Happy September! What kind of trouble did you get into last month? Had any good medical exams lately?
26 Comments
godfry n. glad
I want a teeshirt with “Don’t embarrass us in front of the cephalopods”
Janet Alcorn
I’d totally wear that t-shirt!
Barbara
Had my annual physical Thursday and received a couple of gentle reminders that it’s been 5 years since my previous colonoscopy. No music playing just the Today Show on the tv in the waiting room.
Janet Alcorn
I’m on the 3-year plan b/c of family history and big polyps. Not fun but better than cancer.
trentpmcd
Before I read the word “parody”, I saw the first couple of photos and thought, “wait, is this a Spinal Tap tribute band?” Thinking of music, the last time I was in the grocery story I heard an obscure B52s song. I don’t remember which one, but I think was something off of the “Good Stuff” album, like “Hot Pants Explosion”. At least it wasn’t “Dirty Back Road” – that would work when waiting for a colonoscopy, but not at the grocery store…
Hope you are having a good weekend.
Janet Alcorn
Ahahahaha! I think we need to create a colonoscopy playlist!
Debbie
Lot of fun here Janet!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks!
leannelc
Congrats on the poem being a finalist, I have no idea who Steel Panther is – but they look really cool. Glad your scopes are done and all’s sorted. I keep thinking I should have one because I’m at the right age, but after two ops in the last 12 months, I’m reluctant to have anyone put anything anywhere inside me!
Janet Alcorn
Yeah, I can imagine you wouldn’t be excited to have another medical procedure after 2 surgeries. I hope you’re healing well from those.
csuhpat1
Hope everything is good after your surgeries. Sounds like your August was interesting. Steel Panther sounds like a fun time.
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! Yep, all good, and I shouldn’t need to visit the gastro surgery center again for 3 years. Woo hoo!
csuhpat1
And you have a new Instagram follower.
Janet Alcorn
Yay! Thanks!
Jo
You really do make me giggle. Love the gastro punnies and yep, they must know their audience. Thanks for linking up.
Janet Alcorn
Glad I could make you laugh! We need more laughter in this world.
Jo
Oh and congratulations on finalling with your poetry.
Janet Alcorn
Thanks!
Joanne
Congrats on your poetry! Thankfully I haven’t had to have any more medical procedures after having had 2 surgeries in under a year during 2020 pandemic I am all set with any repeats. I very rarely remember anything from procedures though since the medicine they give me “to relax” before giving me any actual anesthesia put me under and my recovery time takes about twice as long as normal people too. What can I say, I just love sleeping! Glad all is well though and you don’t have to go back for several more years.
Janet Alcorn
Oof, I bet surgery during the pandemic was rough. Glad you’re doing well now.
I seem to remember quite a lot. Last time I had major surgery (> 20 years ago), a nurse in the PICU gave me something “to relax” and told me I wouldn’t remember our conversation. One of my first thoughts when I woke up after surgery was, “I remember that conversation!”
Sue from Women Living Well After 50
Nothing like some heavy metal, Janet and looks like fun. When I’ve had my colonoscopies I’ve never had any fun music playing. Well done on your poem and fingers crossed for you. Thanks for sharing your August with us at #WBOYC and happy September. x
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! Happy September to you too!
Susanne
I know all about GI issues and endoscopies. Glad you got it done smoothly! My colonoscopies are never smooth, since in Sweden they don’t sedate (most) people for it. Perhaps in Ireland they’re more decent than that, if I ever need to have one done again.
But you SHOULD have said “I shit you not”.
Love that Alf meme! I wish you a good September.
Janet Alcorn
Ugh, I can’t imagine going through a colonoscopy without sedation. I suppose it would be cheaper and faster, but it seems like a lot of people would just skip it rather than go through that. I’m so sorry.
KymPossible
I truly enjoyed your humor, and I shit you not, I would have made the same jokes in those situations. Several years ago I had an endoscopy and a couple months later had oral surgery – at both places the music playing as the anesthesia took effect happened to be “Comfortably Numb”. I’m no Pink Floyd fan, but even I had to appreciate how appropriate, although I wasn’t actually comfortable at the time. Visiting (late!) from WBOYC today
Janet Alcorn
Blahahaha! “Comfortably Numb” is too perfect! I’d probably be cracking up as they put me under.