My So-Called Writing Life: expectations vs. reality
I love books about the writing life. In fact, they are one of my favorite ways to procrastinate from living the writing life (by, you know, actually writing). I want to know every famous writer’s writing routine, favorite beverage while writing, where they wrote, what they wrote with, even the name of the human/animal/epic tragedy that inspired them to write. Writing is a vocation that inspires awe. We like to imagine that it involves some kind of magic (and really, I’m half convinced Stephen King’s works are actually written by a sentient Ouija Board, because he’s clearly channeling something). So let’s talk about the writing life, or at least my writing life (please share yours in the comments, and if you have a sentient Ouija Board, may I borrow it? Pretty please?)
But first: This post is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group (IWSG) blog hop. On the first Wednesday of every month, we IWSG-ers share our doubts, fears, struggles, and triumphs. Our awesome co-hosts this month are  Jennifer Lane, Jenni Enzor, Renee Scattergood, Rebecca Douglass, Lynn Bradshaw, and Melissa Maygrove. Each month our fearless leader (Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh) gives us an optional question to answer. This month’s question is, When you began writing, what did you imagine your life as a writer would be like? Were you right, or has this experience presented you with some surprises along the way?
My So-Called Writing Life: In the Beginning
Back in 2019, about 5 years into My So-Called Writing Life, I wrote about my fantasy writer life vs. the (spoiler alert!) much less impressive reality. That post is called Living the Dream, and it might give you a chuckle. As for how I really imagined life as a writer back when I first started: I’m not sure. I don’t think I imagined it at all. I just… started. (The story of why I started is in my first-ever IWSG post, Talent is Overrated.) A little ways in, though, I developed a near-daily writing practice, read everything I could get my grubby fingers on about writing fiction, joined a writing group, and began to make real progress.
Look at me, living my dream! Look at me, writing everyday just like Uncle Stevie and his sentient Ouija Board told me to! Look at my self-discipline and commitment to my craft! Day after week after month after year. Writing every day, blogging every week, finishing a novel, starting another novel, writing and publishing short stories. I was doing it, baby!
How’s that saying go? Oh, yeah: Pride goeth before a fall.
My So-Called Writing Life Episode 2: Reality Bites
The fall came in 2023 in the form of: burnout. So much burnout. Also disillusionment. Querying my first novel didn’t go well, I was stalled out on revising my second novel, and I started to wonder: what’s the point? Why am I giving up my mornings and weekends to an activity that is exhausting and frustrating? I kept going, but my motivation was on life support.
Then came 2024. I was going to finish the Revision from Hell. I was going to self-publish my first novel if I couldn’t find an agent. I was going to get my lifelong dream back on track, baby!
Then I got sick. Then I took a new executive-level job, packed up my life, and moved back to my home state of California–and didn’t write for the rest of the year except for IWSG posts.
Now 2025 is almost over. I’ve been learning how to manage a demanding job, a chronic illness, and the rest of my life, including writing. I’m trying to rebuild my routines in a more sustainable way, and my enthusiasm and joy are returning. I’m querying my first novel again, this time with some significant improvements to the book, and I’ve even gotten a partial request. I’m still working on the Revision from Hell, and I’ve made slow but substantial progress. I’m moving forward.
So, to come back to this month’s question: I imagined my life as a writer would be one of steady forward motion, just like the productivity gurus promise. Burnout and writer’s block were for lesser mortals. My surprise was learning that I am actually a lesser mortal and am not, in fact, invincible. I have been humbled, but I’m still soldiering on.
Writing update
Querying
Much of my focus since September has been querying my time travel romance/romantic suspense mashup, Vanishing, Inc. Here are my query stats so far (including an early attempt in 2021):
- Queries sent: 49
- Rejections: 19
- Partial requests: 1
- Outstanding queries: 29
My plan is to query agents through mid-January, then a few small presses. If at that point I still have no good prospects, I will start the process of self-publishing. I believe in my story, and I think at least a few other people will like it. I don’t care that much about money; I just want it to be read.
Fresno LitHop
I made a rare public appearance last month, reading from my short story, “Walk Me Home,” at Fresno LitHop. (I wrote about this story in last month’s IWSG post, along with the terrifying real-life event that inspired it.) Note: my public appearances are rare, not because I’m a mysterious recluse but because I am a nobody.
Anyway, here’s me at Mi Cafesito in Fresno, reading from “Walk Me Home”:
Yes, I do have a bad case of RBF (Resting Bitch Face) – why do you ask?
Special shout out to Marsha Ingrao at Always Write, who drove up from Visalia for my reading. Marsha and I have been blogging friends for years but had never met in person. I wish we’d gotten a picture together. Thanks, Marsha, for supporting me!
The memery
I wasted a bunch of time on Reddit a couple of weeks ago and harvested tons of memes from the r/meirl subreddit. My loss of time is your gain of laughs. Today’s theme: Me in real life, just like the subreddit says. Here we go:
After decades of caregiving, I am now allergic to responsibility.
I’ve gone so far off the deep end, sanity is a distant memory.
And finally, anyone with the misfortune to be at my local Planet Fitness yesterday can attest to this one:
That’s it for me this month. Drop a comment and tell me about your writing life. Or your life in general. It’s bound to be more interesting than mine.
May your perseverance always be stronger than your insecurity (or may you find a sentient Ouija Board. Whatever it takes to get the job done.)
31 Comments
Joanne
At least you haven’t given up! I do think we often think those types of setbacks only happen to others… which make them so unexpected when they happen to us.
Janet Alcorn
Yep. I almost gave up quite a few times, but I’m still plugging along.
Esther O'Neill
Hi Janet,
Ouija boards ? That’s how he does it ?
Just picking up a great doorstep of a book, I wonder how anybody has the energy to write sio many words. I automatically rewrite and compress all the time, and , even more often, decide all my writing’s rubbish.
Writerly life, today ?
Cat threw up on the breakast table. Very old pine, left behind in our previous and haunted house.
At least it wasn’t the carpet, and ( this is official) I’m not the squeamish one – all that lab work on my CV.
No Creative Writing M.A. either.
Glad you’re enjoyin g the new job, must get back to the Californian cousins.
Esther.
Janet Alcorn
Cats throw up in the most inconvenient places. As you say, at least it wasn’t the carpet.
H. R. Sinclair
Keep on going on. I think that’s what they say. 🙂
Janet Alcorn
Yep, and that’s my plan. Maybe not as fast as I’d like, but I’ll keep on keepin’ on.
C.D. Gallant-King
Hey you’ve had one more public appearance than I have. 🙂
I also go through periods where life just doesn’t want you to write, and it’s a struggle just to get a few words down. So far I’ve found that it’s a cycle, and it always comes back around, but it’s very hard on the low points.
Janet Alcorn
I think it is a cycle, and that’s actually a positive thing. When I’m not feeling it, I can reassure myself that the low is temporary.
alexjcavanaugh
Glad the motivation is back! And cool you got to do the reading.
Janet Alcorn
Thanks!
cleemckenzie
Burnout comes, and fortunately, it goes. Glad you’re on track again.
https://cleemckenziebooks.substack.com/p/the-gift-of-kittens
cleemckenzie
I left one comment, but it disappeared. Let’s see if #2 sticks.
Burnout comes, but fortunately, it goes. Glad you’re back on track.
https://cleemckenziebooks.substack.com/p/the-gift-of-kittens
Rebecca Douglass
Honestly, I think Stephen King has a lot to answer for, in his insistence that if you aren’t writing every day, you aren’t a writer. Not true. You are still a writer if you only manage to write for half an hour on Saturday nights. A writer writes, but I refuse to put limits on how much or how often.
Janet Alcorn
True. I think his point is that if you are going to make a career out of writing, you need to write consistently–and I think he would be right about that. But since most of us will never be able to pay the bills with our writing, we don’t have to be so disciplined.
Jenni Enzor
Your story is inspiring! At the very least you have not lost your enthusiasm or your sense of humor. I could relate to the ups and downs of querying and what you said about assuming if you just worked hard enough, it would all work out how you expected.
So cool that you made a public appearance!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! If I ever lose my sense of humor, call an ambulance–that’s how you’ll know I’m really in trouble.
Crystal Collier
Haha! Don’t we all feel like we’re all that…until we learn better? Good on you for having a plan and a backup. And make sure that if you land a literary agent, they’re worth keeping.
Janet Alcorn
Good point about agents. I’m so glad resources like Writer Beware and QueryTracker exist to help us get info about agents.
Beth Camp
Yes, perseverance furthers. You may wind up on an unexpected journey, but I admire that you are continuing to write and to believe in your stories. I just subscribed to your newsletter and hope to learn when your stories hit the Amazon shelves. PS I started seriously writing in 2004 when I retired . . . now, a reasonably happy self-published author, I have 11 books out there, and am half way through the current story. Let’s write on!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks so much! I really appreciate the newsletter subscription and the encouraging words. I expect I’ll write a lot more consistently once I retire, but I have about 5-7 years to go.
Jennifer Lane
My avoidant attachment style laughed at the fear of responsibility for the baby monster. I think that’s awesome you’re querying. Like you said, self-publishing may be an option down the road, but you might regret it if you didn’t try the trad pub route first. How fun to read your writing publicly. I love your hair!
Janet Alcorn
Awww, thanks! I think I would regret it if I didn’t try to go trad. I suppose it’s my insecurity, but I need the validation that comes from a professional thinking my writing is “good enough.” And thanks for the kind words about my hair. It’s like the characters in my stories – it does whatever it wants, and I’m just along for the ride.
Lynn La Vita
Hi Janet,
After years of studying the craft of writing, the wind was knocked out of my sails when an online critique group told me my opening sentence was Tell, not Show. Here’s what I wrote, “Shivers of adrenaline surged through my body.”
After I regained a bit of self worth, I did a lot of research and discovered the truth, “adrenaline” was Tell.
I so understand what it takes to keep going.
Thanks for sharing part of your journey.
Janet Alcorn
I suppose that line is telling, but it’s also visceral. Sometimes the line between telling and showing is fuzzy, and not all telling is bad. Also, one of the best opening lines in modern literary history is telling: “The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed” (The Gunslinger, Stephen King). It’s short and elegant, and it sets up the core conflict immediately.
Some people get way too wedded to so-called rules.
Liza
If you discover where to find that Ouija Board will you let us know? You are right about practice. I think writers need two things. Imagination and dedication.
Janet Alcorn
Hmm… now I want to write a story about an author with a sentient Ouija Board and a group of lesser authors who band together to try to steal it. It’s an interesting premise for a heist.
Elizabeth Seckman
My writing life was about the same as yours. A few steps forward and then life pulls you right back in, baby. I never wanted the Ouija board, but I was looking for some fairy dust in the beginning. But then I think of Uncle Stevie and his roofing nail, and I keep going. (I think he talked about that in On Writing. He was going to quit when the nail he hammered into the wall was filled. Instead, he added another nail.)
Janet Alcorn
I love his roofing nail story! My husband asked me if I was going to print out my rejections and nail them to the wall. I haven’t (yet).
Nas
Yes, I get you. It’s hard and we tend to self doubt roo much.
Marsha
First, it was my pleasure and joy to hear you read and meet you in person. When life settles down a bit, after the holidays, I’m sure we will get together again. Fresno is a lot closer than Tucson! I love hearing writing stories, too, and yours is great. You are persistent. I’m sure you are going to be famous before long, and I’ll be there telling everyone I heard you at Mi Cafesito. 🙂
Janet Alcorn
Thanks so, so much! I can’t tell you how much it meant that you made the trip up here to see me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be famous, but I hope to at least have an actual book out… soon.
And yes, let’s get together after the holidays. I’ll come to you this time.