Large scary pumpkin with dead-looking mini pumpkin in its mouth

My scariest Halloween ever

Monday is shaping up to be my scariest Halloween ever.

Am I spending a night in a haunted house? Did I meet a guy on Tinder who’s invited me to spend a week with him in his castle in Transylvania? Nope. (And the scariest part of that sentence is, “meet a guy on Tinder.” I’m so glad I’m married and don’t have to deal with such abominations.)

So if it’s not a creepy destination or online dating, what’s so terrifying about this Halloween? Two words:

Book. Deadline.

[scary music]

Yes, I’m still harping on about the book (work-related, not fun fiction) a colleague and I are editing. Our manuscript is indeed due to the publisher on Monday. We’re in OK shape, and I’m confident we’ll hit our deadline–as long as we both work on it constantly between now and 11:59 PM on Monday, ignoring minor distractions like eating, sleeping, and personal hygiene. I should look like a swamp witch by Sunday afternoon.

I’m writing this on Thursday, so these may be my last public words before my descent into unwashed madness.

These words are also part of the Weekend Coffee Share, hosted by Natalie the Explorer. Grab a treat, have a seat, and enjoy my last moments of semi-sanity.

We’re doing diddly squat for Halloween this year (ahem. book deadline.) but in the spirit of the season, I’ll share a few pics from Hallweens past. We used to go all out–I miss those days.

Halloween memories

Long-Suffering Husband and me at a friend’s party, 2007
Long-Suffering Husband (Jason), yours truly, and friends, 2008

Last year I finally donated that purple and black spider dress, because I can no longer fit in it. It was a sad day.

Hunting for braaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssssss, 2009
Cannibal pumpkin, 2008 or 2009
Me with Gus the Halloween Prop, 2012

And now I’ve depressed myself, because I realize we’ve hardly done anything for Halloween in 10 years.

Ah, well. There’s always next year… when I will not have a book deadline.

Halloween memes

I’ve been saving these all year!

Speaking of health problems:

Oh, the joys of getting old.

Speaking of getting old:

Yes! And my au natural swamp witch look becomes a costume.

Speaking of decorations:

I am not a deranged serial killer. I am environmentally responsible.

There are no words for how much I want to do this:

Also this:

And now I’m reminded of the fact that I should be editing. *Shudder*

Hey, ya gotta find those real estate deals wherever you can.

Damn straight.

And finally, I’ll apologize for this one up front:

Well, that was fun, but I need to return to the real horror in my life: editing.

Happy Halloween! Whatcha dressing up as this year? I bought a new Victorian Vampire costume, because I’m working at an event on Monday. Yes, I have to dress up and work an event on the day our book is due.

The horror, the horror…

24 Comments

  • Writing Sparkle

    Great Halloween pictures. Halloween is one of my favourite holidays.

    I was laughing at your “ignoring minor distractions like eating, sleeping, and personal hygiene” comment because I feel a bit under the crunch as well with my edits on Chimera and Curses.

    Thanks for the virtual coffee, Janet. Good luck with your deadline.

  • rawsonjl

    That would be hilarious to screech up to a yard sale and pull that! LOL. Best of luck with the book deadline.

  • Natalie

    Janet, Thank you for your weekend coffee share. Your past Halloween costumes were impressive. I hope you share your Victorian Vampire look this year. You’ll ace the book deadline. You’ve got this.

    • Janet Alcorn

      Thanks! I’ll try to remember to get some pics. I definitely need some more recent Halloween pics. And thanks for the good thoughts. I think we’ll hit the deadline, but it’ll be a slog.

  • Gary A Wilson

    Ah – fun stuff Janet.
    Too bad you’re so busy. My 3 minute story this week has been accused of veering into the lane of horror a tad and I thought you’d like it. Keep me in mind if you have one left after the big edit job is out the door and beyond reach.
    Oh and I love that I now have verbiage for not dusting or de-webbing the place for the whole month – why did I not think of this before?

    • Janet Alcorn

      I’ll do my best to remember to check out your story once I get my manuscript submitted. 3 more days…

  • leannelc

    Hi Janet – good luck with the book deadline – I hope it all falls smoothly into place. I’m like the Ebenezer Scrooge of Halloween – I just don’t like it at all – too dark, too creepy, and I don’t like small children begging for lollies. So…..I won’t be doing anything for Halloween (and I don’t even have a book deadline to blame!)

    • Janet Alcorn

      Thanks! The book is getting there.

      I love the dark, the creepy, and the kids, probably because I’m an overgrown kid. I wish we had kids in the neighborhood, but we don’t.

  • trent

    I don’t care how many times I’ve seen it, Margret and the Grim Reaper always gets a giggle from me. I think it is because we all HATE mini candy!
    Good luck with your editing! I hope you make your scary deadline without too much of that “dead” part. And I guess you’ll be playing “zombie” on Nov 1, at least until the 2nd pot of coffee.

    • Janet Alcorn

      I love mini candy now that I’m old, but when I was a kid, full-sized candy bars were the greatest thing ever.

      I’ve already hit the zombie stage. I was up at 5:30 this morning, shambling around the house moaning, “Edittttttt… must editttttt…”

  • Susanne

    I know all about those minor distractions when there’s a deadline looming. I’ll be there soon too with my last school assignments coming up now. I totally enjoyed your Halloween memes! Especially the witch who can’t have kids, and the haunted house grammar police. That’d be me in a nutshell! Good luck with your book editing!

    • Janet Alcorn

      Thanks! Good luck with your assignments! I was just thinking yesterday how my book project feels like finals week. I’m going nonstop and counting the days till I submit it and can collapse in exhaustion.

  • Kathleen Howell

    Love the pics!! Had to show my hubs the KISS one.. He dressed up as Peter Criss one year, long ago. I hope you have a great weekend despite all the work. Happy Halloween!

    • Janet Alcorn

      I hope your hubs liked the pic! Long-Suffering Husband does a great job with costumes. He spends months making them. Me? I buy the costume-in-a-bag at Spirit and call it good.

  • Marsha

    Funniest Halloween ever you mean! I loved all your jokes and your true stories. Your (you’re in blood) a riot! Good luck with your manuscript. No personal hygiene will fit right in with your Victorian vampire costume. Have fun. 🙂

    • Janet Alcorn

      Thanks so much for the kind words! And you’re right – I don’t suppose Victorians, undead or otherwise, had great hygiene.

      Have a fabulous week!

  • Maria

    Best of luck with your deadline.
    We used to do more for Halloween when my daughter was younger (we lived in the US,) in Sweden it’s not as big, but are becoming bigger by the year. I’m hosting a small Halloween hunt at home, and I had a Hal;lloween party for the kids at work earlier this week. That’s about it, besides decorating a pumpkin and making some cupcakes later today.

    • Janet Alcorn

      This all sounds lovely. I had to Google “Halloween hunt,” because I’d never heard of it. It sounds fun!

    • Janet Alcorn

      You’re right–I survived! Submitted the manuscript on Monday as scheduled. I’m still exhausted, but it’s done.