Writing regrets, I have a few: 3 things I wish I’d done
Hot take: Be wary of anyone who says they have no regrets. At best, they probably aren’t very self-aware. At worst, they’re sociopaths who don’t know they’ve hurt other people or, more likely, don’t care. Anyway. Today I’m going to talk about regrets, specifically my 3 biggest writing regrets.
But first: This post is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group (IWSG) blog hop. On the first Wednesday of every month, we IWSG-ers share our doubts, fears, struggles, and triumphs. Our awesome co-hosts this month are Shannon Lawrence, Diedre Knight, Liza, and Pat Garcia. Please stop by and leave them some comment love. Each month our fearless leader (Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh) gives us an optional question to answer. This month’s question is, As a writer/author what is something you regret? Or something that you wish you’d done differently in your writing process?
My 3 biggest writing regrets
Writing regret #1: not starting sooner
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to write stories. I just never thought I could. Here’s a lesson for anyone reading this:
If you really want to do something–even something that seems wildly impractical or even impossible–look into it. Don’t just dismiss it. Read about how to do it. Talk to people who are doing it. Dare to try. You might fail, or you might decide it isn’t for you after all, but at least you will have tried. You’ll know from experience whether you can do it, rather than just assuming you can’t, like I did.
Otherwise, you might figure out in your late 40s that you can, in fact, do the thing you’ve always dreamed of doing, and you could have been doing it for 30 years.
Why didn’t I start writing sooner? Glad you asked! Here’s why:
Writing regret #2: Assuming I had no “talent” for writing
Talent is Overrated. That’s the title of my first-ever IWSG post, and it includes the story of why I assumed I had no talent for writing fiction–and, like an idiot, stuck to that belief for 30 years.
As for talent: Talent is awesome. Some writers are super gifted, and I’m super jealous of them. However. Courage and persistence kick talent’s butt every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
I’m not saying everyone can be a great writer. I’m saying 1) you don’t know if you can until you try (and really try, not give up after one high school assignment like, ahem, *somebody* did), 2) talent can be developed, cultivated, and nurtured through study and practice, and 3) plenty of entertaining stories are written by writers who aren’t, “great.” Good is OK. And one person’s “good” is another person’s “I’ll buy everything this person writes including their grocery list.” Believe people when they tell you that reading taste is subjective, because it is.
Plenty of merely “good” (or even, dare I say it, not-so-good) writers get published and sell books. Most of them have two traits in common: the courage to start and to put their work out there, and the persistence to keep going in the face of exhaustion, frustration, rejection, more rejection, still more rejection… you get the idea.
If you want to write, write. Read books on craft, take workshops if you can afford it (if you can afford annual dues for a professional organization in your genre, do that – most offer tons of workshops), and, most importantly, write. Write as much as you can, as often as you can without burning out.
Writing regret #3: Not taking creative writing courses in college
I majored in English because I thought I wanted to teach high school. I considered taking creative writing classes, which would have counted toward my degree, but I didn’t, because I was convinced that a) I had no talent, so b) taking those courses would mess up my GPA.
Yes, I was an idiot.
I still have no formal training in creative writing. Sigh.
A lesson
While revising this piece, I noticed something. All three of my biggest regrets are things I didn’t do because I lacked two things: courage and confidence. For 30 years, I let fear stop me.
Don’t be me.
DO. THE. THING.
Writing updates
I actually have some actual writing updates this month! (Do try to contain your excitement.)
First, the bad news: I didn’t place in the Central Valley Fiction Writers flash fiction contest. Disappointing, but there are some very good writers in that group, so the competition was stiff. Still, I have a flash piece I didn’t have before, and I can always revise it and find a home for it elsewhere.
Now the good news: I wrote a new short story! For the first time in at least 3 years! About 3 years ago, I started brainstorming a short story for the annual Bouchercon anthology. Its theme that year was music. Then life happened, and I ran out of time. I shelved the project, but every now and then, I’d think of it and say, someday. Then in early July, for no particular reason, I looked to see what the theme was for the annual Malice Domestic anthology, and it was: music. Just the excuse I needed to dust off those old notes and get to writing. The only trouble was, the deadline was the end of July, and I am a slow writer.
I busted my butt all month and got it done. Thank goodness I’d planned to take a vacation day Friday, because I needed almost the entire day to get the thing finished. I think it could have used another round of critique and editing, but there was no time. Sometimes you have to do the best you can and hit that submit button.
Life updates
Life is lifin’. The slower summer workdays will end soon–the semester starts in 3 weeks. Long-Suffering Husband and I spent a week in Berkeley at the beginning of July. While there, I picked up a library card from the Berkeley Public Library. In California, most public libraries provide cards free to any California resident, so now I have another source of audiobooks, ebooks, and other cool online stuff. Yeah, I know: nerd alert!
I was attending a higher education leadership academy for work, so I didn’t have a lot of time for sightseeing, but I did snap a few pics. Note that of the 3, one is of a library, and another is of a bookstore. Like I said: nerd alert!
The last pic is fuzzy, because it was taken through our hotel room window, and the glass wasn’t all that clean. Oh, well–we still got to watch the sun set over the bay.
Husband is hanging in there, tolerating his treatment well and coping as well as can be expected. His doctor suggested we meet with the lung transplant team soon-ish, though he isn’t at the transplant stage yet. I’m trying to find joy in small moments, which is a good thing to do, no matter what else is happening in my life. We’re having fun planning for our Hawaii cruise next month. Having something to look forward to helps both of us.
The memery
I have a fresh batch of meme-y ridiculousness this month. Here we go:
First up: AI. Here’s a little reminder for the incels out there:
If you think there were no good uses for generative AI, I give you this:
In case you’re wondering, Willie Nelson is 93, and Keith Richards is 82 (but looks 93).
And finally:
They forgot one: author vs. writing. I live that one every. single. day.
And on that note, I’m outta here. If you’re a fellow writer, what are your biggest regrets?
30 Comments
Jacqui Murray
Lots of good stuff here. Life is lifin’–like “adulting”. Good line!
Janet Alcorn
Adulting – the bane of my existence! And I keep having to do more and more of it.
Barbara Ann Mealer
Like you, my major regret was not even starting until I was old. Then not learning craft for a couple of more years. I did try, but couldn’t get past the first sentence or two until a friend told me to not worry about what it sounded like. Just get the story on the page. You can always fix it once it’s written.
I’m doing that MFA on my own using various books. It’s has actually improved my writing.
I have to say that I forgot that Nelson and Richards built the pyramids. And that AI girlfriend–the guys really do need to see her without her makeup.
Janet Alcorn
Your friend gave you good advice – just get it down and fix it later. I can do that… usually. But then I get stuck in Revision Hell.
I’ve been wanting to make more time to read craft books. Luckily, my local writing group just started a book club, so now I read a writing-related book once a month. It’s great!
cleemckenzie
Well, you made up for those postponements, so it seems you’ve moved on and one exactly what you wanted. How great that is! Congratulations.
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! I’m working on it. Just wish I could retire and write full time.
Esther O'Neill
Hi Janet,
Great read, and the last memery section made me laugh at last,
on an infuriating day Endless neighbourhood posts, re the weird game of postman’s knock/pass the parcel, played by various couriers, Amazon definitely not the only offender.
Loved the AI girlfriend without make-up.
I too failed to study creative writing,, no time or money,, M.Sc did mean a decent enough job in , epidemiology, Any takers for flash fiction on preparing, staining and analysing
tissue samples ? Or the joys of working with medical photographers ? . Squeamish need not apply., but Professor Susan Black’s Written in Bone is a great read – .Seriously… Forensic anthropology’s Agatha Christie. .
Regrets Agree – Allowed myself to be ruled by fear for too long. Now we’ve turned to crime, together, set in my husband’s home territory, .happens to be called Eden.
Esther. –
Janet Alcorn
Ooh, Written in Bone sounds amazing! Just added it to my TBR list. I bet you could come up with some good flash fiction about tissue samples and/or medical photographers.
C.D. Gallant-King
I too waited too long – I always wrote, just never did anything serious with it.
I’m also overdo to write and submit some short stories as well. I’ve got a few ideas simmering, and there are some places out there hankering for a CDGK original (no, no there’s not).
Janet Alcorn
I’ve always written too, but like you said, never did anything with it nor knew what to do with it. Happy to be doing it now.
I wish I were a faster writer. I can crank out a short story in about a month, which seems really slow for a measly 5000 words.
alexjcavanaugh
I didn’t start until later in life as well. And we do regret most what we don’t do rather than what we do.
Prayers for your husband.
And that second image cracked me up!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks for the prayers. He needs ’em. His last scan didn’t show much progression, but his symptoms are worse.
I wish someone would have told me when I was younger that most of my regrets would be things I didn’t do. I might have made braver choices. Maybe.
Crystal Collier
Courage. I love that. There are so many good things we can miss out on if we’re not brave enough to take the first step. And I’m with you on talent. There’s very little in this world that you can’t develop with a dogged determination and hard work.
Janet Alcorn
The older I get, the more I realize that courage is one of–if not the–most important virtue a person can have. It underlies so many of the others and is necessary for a life well and fully lived. I’m working on building mine.
patgarcia
Hi,
I have come to believe that the more you sit on a story:n the more the story becomes real. It is like drinking a glass of vintage red wine.
Congratulation on your submission. I hope it places.
Shalom shalom
Janet Alcorn
I think you’re right, at least to a point. I need to let stories marinate a bit if I’m going to make them as good as they can be. One of mine has been sitting way too long, though. I need to get it out the door.
Damyanti Biswas
Courage. We all need more of that, so we go do.that.thing.
Janet Alcorn
Yep! I’m not even sure what I’m so afraid of, yet I’ll sit here and second guess myself ten ways from Sunday.
natalieiaguirre
I didn’t start writing until later in life too. My younger self had no idea that I’d like to write. The important thing is that you’re writing now.
Janet Alcorn
I knew I wanted to write, but I had no idea what I could write nor what to do with it. Oh, well, as you say, what matters is I’m doing it now.
Olga Godim
Like you, I don’t regret anything I did. I only regret things I didn’t do.
Nice memes, especially the AI girlfriend. Made me smile.
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! I’m so impressed with how clever some memes are.
Jenni Enzor
I agree that talent isn’t everything. I have known talented writers who never did anything with their talent and “less talented” writers who worked very hard to learn the craft abd in the end, ended being better writers. I was also an English major, but the best writing class I ever had was at a community college. The creative writing classes at my college were about being experimental rather than learning how to write a good story.
Janet Alcorn
One of the reasons I’ve never taken college-level creative writing classes recently is that they focus on literary fiction, which I mostly find boring. If it doesn’t have a plot, it isn’t a story, and I will die on that hill.
In my own words
I regret not starting earlier. Not devoting specific time in my day to write. Not running marathons when I was younger (okay, that’s not true). I’m 63 now and I think, what if I had a big blockbuster book? Will I be around to write the next one? I definitely should find more time to write and less time wondering… And, I shouldn’t “should” myself… Better stop while I’m ahead. I really enjoy your writing. Keep up the good, inspiring work!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! I read a great response somewhere to the, What if I’m X years old when [thing finally gets done]: You’ll be that old anyway, might as well do the thing. And yeah, don’t should on yourself. Another thing I read awhile ago that resonated with me: Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? Love yourself as much as you do your friends.
Jennifer Lane
We had some similar responses to this question. I was also GPA-obsessed in undergrad, and I wish I had more of a growth mindset at the time. Sounds like you and your husband are in a rough battle. I hope you have the best time on your Hawaiian cruise!
Janet Alcorn
Thanks! I wish every incoming college freshman (heck, maybe incoming high school freshmen) learned about fixed vs growth mindset. I also wish you could choose some small number of classes outside your major that didn’t count toward your GPA as long as you got at least a C. Then maybe more students would take a chance on a subject that intimidated them.
And yeah, Long-Suffering Husband is in a tough spot. He has pulmonary fibrosis. Not a disease you want.
jmh
Hi Janet! I absolutely love your voice! I can’t believe you spent years thinking you weren’t good at writing. Such a shame.
I also love what you said about people who claim not to have regrets. As soon as I saw the theme of this month’s blog hop, I knew there were going to be quite a few of those. “Everything teaches us something,” “Things worked out the way they should,” “The timing wasn’t right…” Puke. Whatevs.
Thanks for being so honest about your regrets. As you know, I share #1. And the writers who did speak honestly about regrets showed me that almost ALL of us have the same one! Who knew? There may not be safety in numbers, but there is some comfort in it.
Congrats on getting that short story done! And I’m so sorry about your husband, and what you both must be going through.
Janet Alcorn
Thanks so much – you’re too kind! I appreciate people putting a good face on their regrets, and I’ve definitely learned from mine, but I’m also enough of a realist to recognize that things could have been different. Whether they would have been better–who knows? But you’re right – it feels somewhat comforting to know so many of us have similar regrets.